Ugh, this Europe thing is still happening?
Well, yes. The most recent thing is the Spanish bank bailout, which was announced last weekend.
Ooh, Spain! I went to Ibiza on spring break during college. They pronounce it "Eeveetha." This guy named Ignacio took me to a rave and I swear we were dancing until like 7 a.m.
That's great. Anyway, after months of speculation and hand-wringing, Spain agreed to take a bailout — which some people are calling "Spailout" because it's fun to combine words — that will help it recapitalize its banks.
Recapitalize? Is that like when you're texting on an iPhone and you want to type "mark" but it keeps changing it to "Mark" because it thinks you're talking about your friend Mark and then you scream at Siri, "I'm not talking about Mark, Siri!!!"
That was a good effort, but no. Recapitalization is a fancy way of saying that Spain's damaged banks needed to raise a whole bunch of money in order to avoid dragging down the entire Spanish economy — not to mention Europe, the United States, and the rest of the money-loving world. ...