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Sandwich Monday: Country-Fried Bacon

by Ian Chillag
Jan 14, 2013

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This actually exists. Robert's daughter Talia inspects the merchandise. Robert's heart has the same expression on its face.

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There are those who say "just because you can doesn't mean you should," and there are those who try to respond to that, but they can't, because their mouths are full of deep-fried bacon.

Robert, his daughter Talia, and I went to Wiener And Still Champion, a restaurant just north of Chicago, to try some.

Talia: It's like they asked themselves "how do you make bacon more unhealthy?" and then they did it.

Ian: It was this, or sharpen it into little bacon blades and start stabbin'.

The Country-Fried Bacon isn't the only extreme food on the menu. There's a burger with 9 patties and 11 slices of cheese called "The 911." If you want, I'm sure they'll even fry up the menu itself for you and serve it with a side of mayonnaise.

Robert: It's clever how they mask this unhealthy bacon with this wholesome, deep-fried batter.

Talia: Oh, look, there's health food on the menu: deep-fried lettuce!

Ian: If they're willing to do a tomato, too, I'd love a DFB-DFL-DFT. With a Diet Coke.

Robert: This restaurant is where New Year's Resolutions go to die.

Ian: They really should put the calorie count up on the menu but using Scientific Notation is so complicated.

Robert: Just what country does country-fried bacon come from? Obesia?

Ian: "Batter The Bacon" is the new "Gild The Lily."

[The verdict: totally disgusting and absolutely tasty. I would have thought it was impossible to add anything to bacon, but they've done it.]

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