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Sandwich Monday: The Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich

by Eva Wolchover
Apr 29, 2013

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It's always Christmas at WWDTM. It's best to eat these standing up over some sort of catchment device. The sandwich turned Robert into an ice cream vampire. After Robert got to it.

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Artisan health food giant Carl's Jr. is currently testing a new summer menu item: the Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich. The timing couldn't be better, as it'll help you gain that final pesky 75 pounds before hitting the beach.

We don't have access to a Carl's Jr. here in Chicago, but luckily, we were able to re-create the sandwich using items procured from our office vending machine. We went with frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts and vanilla ice cream.

Robert: When I was a kid, my parents gave me one of these for breakfast every morning until they lost custody.

Mike: This is part of a balanced breakfast, as long as we're balancing breakfast on a three-tiered chocolate cake.

Miles: This is perfect for a family on the go, so long as no one's actually going anywhere.

Eva: I'm just happy someone's finally invented a way for me to eat both Pop-Tarts in the package at once.

Miles: It's nice Michelle Obama took the time to personally slap this out of my mouth.

Peter: How about a sandwich made with two strawberry Pop-Tarts, and the filling is the program from your own funeral?

Miles: Do you think strawberries can sue for libel for being mentioned in the description?

Robert: I think even tarts are offended by this one.

Peter: It's really weird, but when I went to wipe my mouth, all my teeth ended up on the napkin.

Mike: It's a shame they didn't have this sandwich in the '60s. It's fun to imagine Audrey Hepburn staring in Breakfast at Haagen-Dazs.

Eva: No wonder she wore so much black.

[Verdict: Good, if you have a big enough mouth to eat it all in one bite, since the combination of hot toasted Pop-Tarts and ice cream melts into dessert soup almost immediately.]

[Suggested wine pairings: Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Drink, Kool-Aid Bursts, simple syrup.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me.

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