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Sandwich Monday: Subway's Fritos Chicken Enchilada Sub

by Ian Chillag
Feb 10, 2014

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Bird's-eye view. (Robert has a bird sitting on his shoulder.) This is the only way to get Ian to take his Fritos. Eva suggests pairing this sandwich with a nice pinot noir stuffed with Fritos. Frito detected.

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Ian Chillag

Whether the Subway Fritos Chicken Enchilada Sub was the result of creative inspiration or an enormous workplace Fritos spill, we'll never know. What matters is it happened, and it's only a matter of time until all foods everywhere will be available topped with Fritos.

Ian: I like that they're thinking in texture. And adding crunch with Fritos is way better than McDonald's creepy BBQ McTickle.

Miles: Yeah, but let's be honest, crunches are the last thing anyone is going to be doing after eating this sandwich.

Ian: I just feel weird about any food measured in distance. In other countries, does Subway sell metric sandwiches?

Miles: "I'll have a 5-pound 30-centimeter-long, please."

Eva: In small rural villages they sell sandwiches that are "as the crow flies"-long.

Ian: Astronomers measure really long foods in Regret Years.

Robert: The freedom to misappropriate ethnic cuisines is the reason we fought the Mexican-American War.

Miles: This is certainly more successful than Subway's Chicken Piņata sub.

Eva: I'm so proud of Jared Fogle — he was able to gain all the weight back in a matter of weeks simply by eating these three times a day! *

Ian: In an amazing synchronicity, a man barfed Fritos all over the train this morning. So I had Fritos on both my Subways today!

Ian: Now that we know that a compound used in the making of yoga mats is also used in Subway bread, eating this counts as stretching!

Eva: Yeah, I can just feel my inner chakras expanding.

Robert: I think the Frito Bandito just stole three years from the end of my life.

[The verdict: not bad. It's the kind of thing you'd create with all the random ingredients if you found yourself in a Subway restaurant with no one watching, so it's fun they made it official.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

* Note: Like most things in Sandwich Monday, we're just making this up.

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