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Sandwich Monday: We Tackle The Army's 'Pork Rib' MRE

by Ian Chillag
Mar 24, 2014

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Recipe either created by the Department of Defense or stolen from McDonald's by the NSA. Barbecue sauce is the ultimate camo. Intern Seth washes out of basic training.

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We got our hands on an MRE — a "Meal, Ready to Eat" from the Department of Defense. It's a real marvel of engineering. In one flat bag, there's an imitation McRib, clam chowder, a couple of drinks, and some trail mix, and some note about how by eating this you consent to joining the Marines. All in one flat bag!

Special Guest Mike Pesca: This meal disgusts me more before 8 a.m. than most meals disgust me all day.

Miles: I'm going to imitation eat this imitation pork rib.

Ian: Anybody got napkins? I'm looking for a few good napkins.

The MRE really is impressive. It's even got a little heating element you can use to warm up your soup. I got a good sense for how good a soldier I'd make, though, when I lacked the arm strength to open the bag.

Pesca: I'm not saying MREs are old, but this thing was bagged during the Ibrahim al-Jaafari administration.

Ian: It's so cute how they call the next course Operation Dessert Storm.

Pesca: If the Army eats too many of these, it's gonna take a whole new GI Bill to pay for the new GI Bills.

Ian: In about an hour, I'm going to dishonorably discharge this.

[The verdict: Fine — not the meal you're going to pick if you don't have to, but a pretty amazing feat to make all that nutrition portable. I'd put the Department of Defense's McRib up against the Golden Arches any day.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

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